Turkey Trotten

Parts (7)      NARRATOR			DRAB TURKEY		FATSO TURKEY       ALBINO TURKEY
               LOQUACIOUS TURKEY	SAGACIOUS TURKEY	TROTTON TURKEY 

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NARRATOR:  AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE THERE ARE TURKEYS GALORE. THE TURKEYS RANGE WIDELY IN SIZE
           AND BEAUTY FROM BEDRAGGLED TO BEDAZZLING. THE SEASON IS THE LAST OF NOVEMBER AND FOR
           SOME REASON NOT QUITE UNDERSTOOD BY THE TURKEYS THERE IS AN UNCERTAINTY IN THE AIR.

DRAB:	   THIS CLAIROL I USE ON MY TAIL IS REALLY NOT THE GREATEST. I CAN'T SEE THAT IT MAKES 
           ME LOOK A DAY YOUNGER AND IT'S A MESS TO USE.

FATSO:	    IT'S NOT THE COLOR IN MY FEATHERS THAT CAUSES ME PROBLEMS. I HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM.
            EVERY KERNEL OF CORN I EAT CAUSES A NEW AND CONSPICUOUS BULGE. I ALREADY WALK WITH 
            SUCH AN OBVIOUS WADDLE THAT THE GEESE THINK I AM ONE OF THEM!

ALBINO:	    I WATCH MY CALORIES AND STAY THIN, BUT A LOT OF GOOD THAT DOES. THE OTHER TURKEYS 
            SHUN ME BECAUSE I'M WHITE, AND I DIDN'T ORDER MY FEATHERS THAT COLOR; THEY JUST CAME
            THAT WAY.

LOQUACIOUS: ARE YOU QUITE SURE THEY SHUN YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR COLOR OR IS IT BECAUSE OF THE "CHIP"
            YOU CARRY ON YOUR BACK? I NEVER SHUN YOU AND I TALK WITH YOU WHENEVER YOU GIVE ME HALF
            A CHANCE.

ALBINO:     YOU, YES. YOU TALK TO ANYONE--EVEN ME. THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU'D RATHER TALK THAN EAT!

LOQUACIOUS: THERE YOU GO AGAIN BEING DEFENSIVE. MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO DEFEND THEIR REASON 
            FOR TALKING TO YOU. I TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I LIKE TO. IT IS TRUE I LIKE TO TALK TO
            EVERYONE. IN FACT I WOULD RATHER TALK THAN EAT. ON THE OTHER HAND, WHY CAN'T YOU AND
            I CHAT WITHOUT YOUR LOOKING FOR SOME REASON OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF IN ORDER TO EXPLAIN 
            WHY I SELECTED YOU TO TALK TO? IT LOOKS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU GO LOOKING FOR TROUBLE!

FATSO:	    YES, WHITEY. WHY DO YOU GO AROUND LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?

SAGACIOUS:  LET'S TALK ABOUT REAL PROBLEMS. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT DURING THIS LAST WEEK IN
            NOVEMBER WE ARE FED LIKE V.I.P.'S?

FATSO: 	    AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

SAGACIOUS:  NOT A THING EXCEPT THAT AFTER NOVEMBER THERE ARE NOT MANY OF US LEFT. AND THAT'S NOT
            TOO PLEASANT A THOUGHT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THE TURKEYS THAT DISAPPEAR ARE ON A
            MEDITERRANEAN CRUISE!

FATSO: 	    YOU'VE GOT ME THINKING NOW AND FOR ONCE IT IS NOT ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO EAT.

SAGACIOUS:  YOUR MENTIONING EATING IS "FOOD FOR THOUGHT." IN FACT, I  GET THE EERIE FEELING THAT
            THOSE OF US WHO DISAPPEAR MAY BE FOOD FOR THOSE TWO-LEGGED ANIMALS THAT WE HAVE 
            DOMESTICATED!

FATSO:	    WHAT A CANNIBALISTIC THOUGHT. AFTER ALL THE PAINS WE'VE TAKEN TO TRAIN THEM TO FEED
            US WHEN WE GOBBLE LOUDLY AND SUCH THINGS.

DRAB:	    WE'VE TRAINED THEM TO BUILD US PERCHES AND THEY ARE GOOD CUSTODIANS, TOO. THEY KEEP 
            OUR YARD CLEAN.

ALBINO:     BUT WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TO US? WHY?

LOQUACIOUS: I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE THEY LIKE US. OH, BOY, HERE COMES OUR BEDAZZLING FRIEND. HAVE
            YOU EVER SEEN ANYONE SO PLEASED WITH THEIR LOOKS AS TURKEY TROTTON? NO WONDER THEY SAY
            TURKEYS STRUT. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN HE LOOKS MORE LIKE A PEACOCK THAN LIKE ONE OF US.

TROTTON:    WHAT KIND OF GOBBLEDY-GOOK DO WE HAVE HERE? IS OUR FRIEND LOQUACIOUS TURKEY STARTING 
            A TALKATHON, A PERCH-IN, OR WHAT?

SAGACIOUS:  WE ARE PUZZLED BY THE DISAPPEARANCE EACH YEAR OF SO MANY OF US. THE UNKNOWN HANGS 
            LIKE A CLOUD OVER US.

TROTTON:    HOW RIDICULOUS. I CAN TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS. EACH YEAR ABOUT THIS TIME OUR 
            DOMESTICATED ANIMALS SELECT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF US.

SAGACIOUS:  YES, I BELIEVE YOUR OBSERVATIONS ARE CORRECT, BUT THEN WHAT?

TROTTON:    THE SELECTED ONES ARE SHIPPED TO THE MOON AND VARIOUS OTHER PARTS OF THE UNIVERSE TO
            CONQUER.

SAGACIOUS:  TRUE, AT LEAST I HAVE SEEN SEVERAL OF US IN SHIPPING CRATES.

TROTTON:    AND THIS YEAR I INTEND TO LEAD THE PARADE TO OUTER SPACE.

DRAB:	    WELL GRAY AS MY FEATHERS ARE, THEY WILL NEVER CHOOSE ME TO LEAD THE RACE.

FATSO:	    WELL, FAT AS I AM, THE CAPSULE HASN'T YET BEEN BUILT THAT WOULD HOLD THE LIKES OF ME.

ALBINO:     I'M PROBABLY THE WRONG COLOR TO BE CHOSEN.

LOQUACIOUS: I DON'T EXPECT ANY ONE IN OUTER SPACE COULD TOLERATE MY TALKATIVENESS AND SO, 
            TROTTON, YOU ALONE ARE THE CHOSEN ONE AMONG US.

TROTTON:    VERY WELL, I'LL JOIN THE CHOSEN GROUP. HERE COME THE MEN NOW. I MUST TROT ALONG NOW.

NARRATOR:   AND SO TROTTON TROTTED ON, AND ON, AND ON, RIGHT INTO OBLIVION.

ALL:        THE MORAL IS THAT, AT LEAST AMONG TURKEYS, HE WHO IS CHOSEN LAST, LASTS LONGER.


VOCABULARY: albino loquacious segacious bedraggled uncertainty conspicuous domesticated tolerate waddle shun chip defensive v.i.p. cannibalistic strut oblivion bedazzling galore gobbledy-gook observation