The Dentist

Parts: (2)   DENTIST        PATIENT  (USE MR. OR MRS. FOR PATIENT AS APPROPRIATE.)

PROPS: TEETH, BOTTLE OF GLUE
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PATIENT: GOOD MORNING, DOCTOR.

DENTIST: (VERY BUSY) OH, GOOD MORNING, MR. SMITH.

PATIENT: BUT I'M NOT . . .

DENTIST: HAVE A SEAT, HAVE A SEAT.... NOW LET'S SEE... (LOOKS AT PATIENT'S FOLDER, THEN IN 
         PATIENT'S MOUTH.) WE'LL PULL ALL OF THESE.

PATIENT: BUT DOCTOR . . .

DENTIST: AH, YES. WE'LL START HERE. (BEGINS PULLING TEETH AND PATIENT KICKS AND TURNS AND 
         SPUTTERS.)

PATIENT: BUT, BUT, BUT . . .

DENTIST: QUITE A BEAUTIFUL JOB, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

PATIENT: BUT I DIDN'T COME HERE TO GET MY TEETH PULLED!

DENTIST: YOU DIDN'T? AREN'T YOU MR. SMITH?

PATIENT: NO, I'M MR. JONES.

DENTIST: UH, OH.

PATIENT: WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW, DOCTOR?

DENTIST: WELL, AH, HERE ARE YOUR TEETH BACK. (HANDS BACK TEETH.) SEE IF THIS WILL HELP.
         (HANDS PATIENT A BOTTLE OF GLUE.)

(PATIENT CHASES DENTIST OFF STAGE)