Simile

Scene: A clubhouse after school 
Parts: 11 boys and/or girls.

1: Your head looks just like a bullet! 2: Your ears are like snails! 3: Your nose looks like a banana! 4: Your neck is like a tree stump! 5: You have legs like twigs! 6: Hey, what's going on here? 7: Oh, hi! You guys are late. 8: Maybe we shouldn't have come at all. 9: Why are you insulting each other? 10: We're not really insulting each other, are we, Brain? 11: Absolutely not! 1: Your eyes are like BB's! 2: You have a voice like a siren! 3: Your skin is as soft as cement! 4: You walk like a hipopotamus on roller skates. 6: Wait a minute! There you go again. 5: There we go again, what? 8: The insults again. 9: They're terrible! 7: The Brain will tell you what we are doing. 10: Tell them, Brain 11: We are practicing similes. 6: What's a simile? 1: If you had been in English today... 2: Instead of on that field trip ... 3: You'd know! 4: A simile is comparing two things that are different... 5: In order to make a strong description. 7: And it usually has the words like or as joining two parts. 1: We were just having some fun by practicing similes as insults. 2: But they can be used in many ways. 3: You could say, "Quick as a wink," or "Sharp as a tack." 5: And twice as flat-headed! 6: There you go again. Let's try something else. 8: Every day I say, "The school bus is as slow as molasses." 9: And the food in the cafeteria is as cold as ice. 7: And you always hear someone say, "This school is like a jail." 10: Remember the old joke about teeth that uses a simile? 11: Sure. "Your teeth are like stars..." 1: They come out at night." 2: Say, I can use similes to make a hit with my steady. 3: What are you going to say? 2: Your hair is like soft silk. Your eyes are like pools of crystal water. 4: Wow! That should put you in good standing. 6: For compliments like that, I'll be your steady. 7: You'd never fit that description. Your hair is like newspaper string and your eyes are like flying saucers. 6: And your humor is as funny as a plane crash. 1: Similes, here we come! 2: My love for you is like a raging volcano. 3: I'm as strong as a Saturn rocket. 6: Hey! 7: What? 8: Simile . . . 9: You're on TV. 10: This program is brought to you by CRUNCHY MUNCHIES. 11: The new breakfast cereal that's as crip as crackers. 1: And the all new VITA-MINNIES. 2: The tiny capsules that're as powerful as the atom. 3: And now for today's episode of LOTTA LOVELORN. 4: As we left yesterday, our stars were about to have an argument. 5: You're as sweet as vinegar. 6: You're as honest as a two-headed nickel. 5: You're as trusting as the warden in a prison. 6: You're as lasting as a haircut. 7: Tune in tomorrow when our show will be brought to you by . . . 8: The Sweet As Sugar Candy Company. 9: Remember, if you're as sour as a lemon ... 10: You need a candy that's as sweet as honey!