Parts(15): Narrator 1 Narrator 2 Narrator 3 Narrator 4 Rancher Hicks Elna Sheriff Kurt Mayor Folks Phone Caller President Producer Bernie Bob Millie Newspaper Editor <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Narrator 1: MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH By Trinka Hakes Noble Narrator 2: Rancher Hicks lived out west. As far as the eye could see there was nothing... not even a roaming buffalo. So nothing much ever happened. Rancher Hicks: "I think I'll drive into town and see what's happening. Want to ride along, Elna?" Narrator 3: said Rancher Hicks. Elna: "No. I've got to dig potatoes," Narrator 3: said Elna. So Rancher Hicks climbed into his truck and drove eighty-four miles to the town of Sleepy Gulch. Narrator 4: He stopped at the post office to look at the new wanted posters, but they were the same ones that were there twelve years ago. Narrator 1: Meanwhile...back at the ranch...The cat had just had kittens in Elna's sewing basket when the phone rang. Elna: "Hello?" Phone Caller: "Mrs. Elna Hicks?" Elna: "Yes." Phone Caller: "Mrs. Hicks, you have just won a brand-new wall-to-wall frost-free super-cool refrigerator with a built-in automatic food maker!" Elna: "Why I never!" Narrator 2: exclaimed Elna. Phone Caller: "The delivery men are on their way." Narrator 2: Meanwhile...yawn...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks strolled on over to the barber shop for a whisker trim and to hear the latest gossip. Rancher Hicks: "So what's new, Bob?" Narrator 3: asked Rancher Hicks Bob: "Well...back in the spring of '49 we had a rainstorm you wouldn't believe. Why, it rained for pretty near a whole five minutes. Folks thought it'd never stop. Nothin' much been happening since." Narrator 3: Meanwhile...back at the ranch...The dog had just had puppies when the postman came up the drive with a special delivery. Elna opened it. Narrator 4: It was her Great Aunt Edith's will. It said: My dear Elna, I am leaving you my entire estate which is worth a bundle. Your loving Great Aunt Edith P.S. Enclosed is a winning lottery ticket. I didn't have time to cash it in. Narrator 1: So Elna cashed in the lottery ticket and put new siding on the house. Then she added a new wing for the wall-to-wall refrigerator and a new den for all the puppies and kittens. Narrator 2: Meanwhile...snore...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks mosied on over to Millie's Mildew Luncheonette. Rancher Hicks: "What's on the menu for today, Millie?" Millie: "Well, we got potatoes mashed and potatoes fried, potatoes boiled and potatoes baked, potatoes roasted and potatoes stewed, potatoes scalloped and potatoes steamed, and one egg." Rancher Hicks: "Sounds great, I'll have one of each and a side order of fries," Narrator 3: said Rancher Hicks. Meanwhile...back at the ranch...After all the pigs had had piglets, Elna finally started to dig potatoes. She struck oil! Narrator 4: The oilmen came and gave her lots of money. They started eight new oil wells and an oil refinery that day! Elna took the money and had a very stylish sty built for all the pigs and piglets. Narrator 1: Meanwhile...sigh...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks headed on over to the general store to check out the checker game. Rancher Hicks: "Howdy, boys. What's new?" Kurt: "Well, Bernie here just got a king and it only took him two weeks!" Narrator 2: said Kurt. Bernie: "And I just jumped two of Kurt's men in a little over two hours!" Narrator 2: said Bernie. Rancher Hicks: "Wow. What a game! I can't wait to tell Elna," Narrator 2: said Rancher Hicks. Narrator 3: Meanwhile...back at the ranch...All the cows had calves when a silver limo swung into the driveway. Out jumped a Hollywood movie producer and his hairdresser. Producer: "Elna Hicks, I'm going to make you a movie star!" Narrator 4: So Elna went on a diet and lost twenty pounds. The hairdresser dyed her hair blond and painted her lips red. Narrator 1: The movie producer gave her a script, a bikini, and a large stack of dollar bills! So Elna had a glamorous cow palace built for all the cows and calves, and she studied her script. Narrator 2: Meanwhile...ho hum...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks started to cross Main Street when he saw it! Rancher Hicks: "Amazing," Narrator 3: he gasped. Folks ran to see it. Folks: "Incredible," Narrator 3: they said. A crowd gathered. Newspaper Editor: "This is big news, really big," Narrator 4: said the newspaper editor. Sheriff: "We'd better wake up the mayor," Narrator 4: said the sheriff. The mayor came. Mayor: "Why I've never seen anything like it!" Narrator 1: said the mayor. So he declared it a town holiday. The whole town watched it for hours and hours until finally...a turtle crossed Main Street!! Narrator 2: Meanwhile...back at the ranch...All the horses had colts when the President's helicopter landed in Elna's yard. President: "Elna Hicks, you've got the finest horses west of Washington. I'm making you a diplomat. Please deliver two of your finest horses to the Queen of England!" Narrator 3: he said. The President paid Elna for the horses and gave her a diplomat's diploma and an autographed picture of himself. President: "Don't forget to vote for me!" Narrator 4: Elna took the money and had a very stately stable built for all the horses and colts. Narrator 1: Meanwhile...zzzzzzz...back in Sleepy Gulch...The sun began to sink slowly in the west. Rancher Hicks felt bad that Elna had missed all the excitement so he stopped and bought her a box of Cracker Jacks. Rancher Hicks: "This will make her day," Narrator 2: he said. Then he climbed into his truck and drove eighty-four miles back to the ranch. Narrator 3: Elna met Rancher Hicks down by the mailbox. He gave her the box of Cracker Jacks and told her about all the excitement. Elna: "Shoot! I miss everything," Narrator 4: said Elna. Then Rancher Hicks turned around. Rancher Hicks: "What the hay...?!?!?!?!" Narrator 4: Meanwhile Elna opened her box of Cracker Jacks and inside she found...a real diamond ring!!!!!!
Scripted by Jill Jauquet