By Trinka Hakes Noble

Parts(15):  Narrator 1      Narrator 2      Narrator 3      Narrator 4      Rancher Hicks      Elna
            Sheriff         Kurt            Mayor Folks     Phone Caller    President Producer 
            Bernie          Bob             Millie          Newspaper Editor    

Narrator 1:  MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH By Trinka Hakes Noble

Narrator 2:  Rancher Hicks lived out west.  As far as the eye could see there was nothing... not
             even a roaming buffalo.  So nothing much ever happened. 

Rancher Hicks: "I think I'll drive into town and see what's happening. Want to ride along, Elna?"
Narrator 3:  said Rancher Hicks.
Elna:       "No. I've got to dig potatoes,"
Narrator 3:  said Elna. So Rancher Hicks climbed into his truck and drove eighty-four miles to
             the town of Sleepy Gulch.
Narrator 4:  He stopped at the post office to look at the new wanted posters, but they were the 
             same ones that were there twelve years ago.
Narrator 1:  Meanwhile...back at the ranch...The cat had just had kittens in Elna's sewing basket
             when the phone rang.
Elna:       "Hello?"
Phone Caller: "Mrs. Elna Hicks?"
Elna:       "Yes."
Phone Caller: "Mrs. Hicks, you have just won a brand-new wall-to-wall frost-free super-cool
               refrigerator with a built-in automatic food maker!"
Elna:       "Why I never!"
Narrator 2:  exclaimed Elna.
Phone Caller: "The delivery men are on their way."
Narrator 2:  Meanwhile...yawn...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks strolled on over to the
             barber shop for a whisker trim and to hear the latest gossip.
Rancher Hicks: "So what's new, Bob?"
Narrator 3:  asked Rancher Hicks
Bob:        "Well...back in the spring of '49 we had a rainstorm you wouldn't believe.  Why, it
             rained for pretty near a whole five minutes. Folks thought it'd never stop. Nothin'
             much been happening since."
Narrator 3:  Meanwhile...back at the ranch...The dog had just had puppies when the postman came
             up the drive with a special delivery.  Elna opened it. 
Narrator 4:  It was her Great Aunt Edith's will.  It said:
             My dear Elna,
             I am leaving you my entire estate which is worth a bundle. 
             Your loving Great Aunt Edith 
             P.S. Enclosed is a winning lottery ticket.  I didn't have time to cash it in.
Narrator 1:  So Elna cashed in the lottery ticket and put new siding on the house. Then she added
             a new wing for the wall-to-wall refrigerator and a new den for all the puppies and
Narrator 2:  Meanwhile...snore...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks mosied on over to Millie's
             Mildew Luncheonette.
Rancher Hicks: "What's on the menu for today, Millie?"
Millie:     "Well, we got potatoes mashed and potatoes fried, potatoes boiled and potatoes baked,
             potatoes roasted and potatoes stewed, potatoes scalloped and potatoes steamed, and 
             one egg."
Rancher Hicks: "Sounds great, I'll have one of each and a side order of fries,"
Narrator 3:  said Rancher Hicks.  Meanwhile...back at the ranch...After all the pigs had had 
             piglets, Elna finally started to dig potatoes.  She struck oil!
Narrator 4:  The oilmen came and gave her lots of money.  They started eight new oil wells and an
             oil refinery that day!  Elna took the money and had a very stylish sty built for all
             the pigs and piglets.
Narrator 1:  Meanwhile...sigh...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks headed on over to the general
             store to check out the checker game.
Rancher Hicks: "Howdy, boys.  What's new?"
Kurt:       "Well, Bernie here just got a king and it only took him two weeks!"
Narrator 2:  said Kurt.
Bernie:     "And I just jumped two of Kurt's men in a little over two hours!"
Narrator 2:  said Bernie.
Rancher Hicks: "Wow. What a game! I can't wait to tell Elna,"
Narrator 2:  said Rancher Hicks.  
Narrator 3:  Meanwhile...back at the ranch...All the cows had calves when a silver limo swung 
             into the driveway. Out jumped a Hollywood movie producer and his hairdresser.
Producer:   "Elna Hicks, I'm going to make you a movie star!"
Narrator 4:  So Elna went on a diet and lost twenty pounds. The hairdresser dyed her hair blond 
             and painted her lips red.
Narrator 1:  The movie producer gave her a script, a bikini, and a large stack of dollar bills! 
             So Elna had a glamorous cow palace built for all the cows and calves, and she studied
             her script.
Narrator 2:  Meanwhile...ho hum...back in Sleepy Gulch...Rancher Hicks started to cross Main 
             Street when he saw it!
Rancher Hicks: "Amazing,"
Narrator 3:  he gasped. Folks ran to see it.
Folks:      "Incredible,"
Narrator 3:  they said. A crowd gathered.
Newspaper Editor: "This is big news, really big,"
Narrator 4:  said the newspaper editor.
Sheriff:    "We'd better wake up the mayor,"
Narrator 4:  said the sheriff.  The mayor came.
Mayor:      "Why I've never seen anything like it!"
Narrator 1:  said the mayor.  So he declared it a town holiday. The whole town watched it for
             hours and hours until finally...a turtle crossed Main Street!! 
Narrator 2:  Meanwhile...back at the ranch...All the horses had colts when the President's 
             helicopter landed in Elna's yard.

President:  "Elna Hicks, you've got the finest horses west of Washington.  I'm making you a
             diplomat. Please deliver two of your finest horses to the Queen of England!"
Narrator 3:  he said. The President paid Elna for the horses and gave her a diplomat's diploma
             and an autographed picture of himself. 
President:  "Don't forget to vote for me!"
Narrator 4:  Elna took the money and had a very stately stable built for all the horses and colts.
Narrator 1:  Meanwhile...zzzzzzz...back in Sleepy Gulch...The sun began to sink slowly in the west.
             Rancher Hicks felt bad that Elna had missed all the excitement so he stopped and
             bought her a box of Cracker Jacks.
Rancher Hicks: "This will make her day,"
Narrator 2:  he said. Then he climbed into his truck and drove eighty-four miles back to the ranch.
Narrator 3:  Elna met Rancher Hicks down by the mailbox.  He gave her the box of Cracker Jacks and
             told her about all the excitement.
Elna:       "Shoot! I miss everything,"
Narrator 4:  said Elna. Then Rancher Hicks turned around.  
Rancher Hicks: "What the hay...?!?!?!?!"
Narrator 4:  Meanwhile Elna opened her box of Cracker Jacks and inside she found...a real diamond 
Scripted by Jill Jauquet