LISTEN BUDDY

By Helen Lester

Parts(10):  Narrator 1    Narrator 2    Narrator 3     Narrator 4     Narrator 5     Narrator 6
            Buddy         Father        Mother         Scruffy       
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Narrator 1:  LISTEN BUDDY By Helen Lester

Narrator 2:  Buddy's father had a beautiful big nose. He was a great sniffer.
 
Narrator 3:  Buddy's mother had beautiful big teeth.  She was a great chomper.
  
Narrator 4:  Buddy had beautiful big ears.  It didn't matter.
 
Narrator 5:  When Buddy's parents sent him to the vegetable stand to get a basket of squash, he 
             came home with a basket of wash.
 
Narrator 6:  When they asked him to buy fifteen tomatoes, he came home with fifty potatoes.
             Buddy's father said,
 
Father:     "Listen, Buddy, will you please bring me a pen?"
 
Buddy:      "Who?"
 
Narrator 1:  asked Buddy.
 
Father:     "You.  Will you please bring me a pen?"
 
Narrator 1:  said his father. Buddy asked,
 
Buddy:      "A what?"
 
Father:     "A pen.  Will you please bring me a pen?"
 
Narrator 2:  said his father. 
 
Buddy:      "Sure,"
 
Narrator 2:  said Buddy.  When Buddy brought him a hen, Buddy's father said,
 
Father:     "Listen, Buddy!"
 
Narrator 3:  Buddy's mother said,
 
Mother:     "Listen, Buddy, will you please get me a slice of bread?"
 
Buddy:      "Who?"
 
Narrator 3:  asked Buddy.
 
Mother:     "You.  Will you please get me a slice of bread?"
 
Narrator 4:  said his mother. Buddy asked,
 
Buddy:      "A what of what?"
 
Mother:     "A slice of bread. Will you please bring me a slice of bread?"
 
Narrator 4:  said his mother. Buddy said,
 
Buddy:      "Sure."
 
Narrator 5:  When Buddy sawed her bed apart, Buddy's mother said,
 
Mother:     "Listen, Buddy!"
 
Narrator 6:  Somehow Buddy's mind was always wandering too far away from those beautiful ears. 
             His parents tried yelling.
 
Mother and Father: "LISTEN, BUDDY!"
 
Narrator 1:  They tried whispering,

Mother and Father: ³Listen, Buddy.²
 
Narrator 1:  Nothing worked.
 
Narrator 2:  One day Buddy got permission to go for a long hop. He had never before been allowed 
             to go beyond the vegetable stand.  His parents warned him, 
 
Mother:     "Listen, Buddy.  Just remember that at the end of the road, there are two paths."
 
Father:     "The path to the left will lead you around the pond and back home. But the path to the
             right will lead you to the cave of Scruffy Varmint." 
 
Mother:     "And that Scruffy Varmint has a nasty temper, so be sure to take the path to the left."
 
Buddy:      "Right?"
 
Narrator 3:  asked Buddy. His parents said,
 
Mother and Father: "Left."
 
Buddy:      "Right!"
 
Narrator 4:  said Buddy.  And with a salute of his paw he hopped away.
 
Narrator 5:  Feeling very grown-up, Buddy hopped along, past the vegetable stand and on to the end
             of the road. He pondered,
 
Buddy:      "Now, let's see, was I supposed to go left or right? Or right? Or left?"
 
Narrator 6:  He thought as hard as he could.  
 
Buddy:      "The last thing I said was 'Right!' so that must be...right."
 
Narrator 1:  Right he went. Twenty-five hops later, Buddy discovered that right was wrong. There
             in front of his cave was the Scruffy Varmint, doing scruffy things that varmints do, 
 
Narrator 2:  like snarling, mussing his hair, rubbing dirt on his knees, and scratching a whole 
             lot of itches. 
 
Narrator 3:  At his feet was a large soup pot.  Buddy asked,
 
Buddy:      "What are you going to do with that soup pot?"
 
Scruffy:    "What does one usually do with a soup pot‹bake pie?  I'¹m going to make some soup."
 
Narrator 4:  replied the Scruffy Varmint, not too kindly. Buddy asked,
 
Buddy:      "Some what?"
 
Scruffy:    "Soup,"
 
Narrator 5:  snarled the Scruffy Varmint. Buddy had forgotten his parents¹ warning about the 
             Scruffy Varmint.  He asked eagerly,
 
Buddy:      "May I help?"
 
Narrator 6:  The Scruffy Varmint was not fond of having company, but with help he'd have his soup
             sooner, so he said,
 
Scruffy:    "Allllll right, Bunnyrabbit, come help me gather firewood."
 
Narrator 1:  Buddy asked,
 
Buddy:      "Who, what?"
 
Scruffy:    "You.  Firewood."
 
Narrator 1:  Buddy eagerly hopped ahead of the Scruffy Varmint. Very gently he gathered a large
             prickly bundle, which he held out proudly.
 
Narrator 2:  Roughly the Varmint grabbed the bundle.
 
Scruffy: "I  said firewood, not briarwood,"
 
Narrator 3:  he yelped, plucking the sharp thorns from his paws.
 
Narrator 4:  Later, when the pot was filled with water, the Scruffy Varmint lay against a rock,
             licking his paws and barking orders.
 
Scruffy:    "Hustle, Bunnyrabbit.  Get the flour."
 
Buddy:      "Yessir!"
 
Narrator 5:  said Buddy as he picked a bouquet of wildflowers.
 
Scruffy:    "Five pinches of salt."
 
Buddy:      "Yessir!"
 
Narrator 6:  said Buddy as he measured out 5 inches of salt.
 
Scruffy:    "Fifteen tomatoes."
 
Buddy:      "Yessir!"
 
Narrator 1:  said Buddy as he gathered fifty potatoes.
 
Scruffy:    "And a big load of squash."
 
Buddy:      "Yessir!"
 
Narrator 2:  said Buddy as he gathered a load of wash.
 
Narrator 3:  The Scruffy Varmint rose and gave the soup a stir. He took a taste.  It tasted a 
             little like...well, a little...maybe it needed some pepper. 
 
Scruffy:    "Bunnyrabbit, get the pepper from the left side of the kitchen sink,"
 
Narrator 4:  the Varmint growled.
 
Buddy:      "Who get the what from the where side of the where what?"
 
Narrator 4:  asked Buddy. The Scruffy Varmint repeated,
 
Scruffy:    "WHO GET THE WHAT FROM THE WHERE SIDE OF THE WHERE WHAT?  Never mind."
 
Narrator 5:  He stalked into the kitchen and got the pepper himself and sprinkled it into the
             soup.  He snarled,
 
Scruffy:    "There.  Now, Bunnyrabbit, put the soup on the fire."
 
Narrator 6:  Buddy put the soup in the fire. The fire went Hssssssssss. So did the Scruffy Varmint.
             He howled,
 
Scruffy:    "I'll teach you. I WILL have soup!  Bunnyrabbit soup! And I know just the bunny to use,
             the Bunnyrabbit who never listens!"
 
Narrator 1:  Buddy listened.  He also hopped. Very very very fast. Faster than he had ever hopped 
             in his life.
 
Narrator 2:  He whizzed up the road past the vegetable stand and into the safety of his house.  
 
Narrator 3:  And a little later, when Buddy's parents asked him to bring a pen and a slice of bread,
             Buddy listened.
Scripted by Jill Jauquet