The Hallo-Wiener

By Dav Pilkey

Parts(12):    Narrator 1   Narrator 2    Narrator 3    Narrator 4    Narrator 5    Narrator 6
             Dog 1        Dog 2         Mother        Oscar         Cat 1         Cat 2   
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Narrator 1:   The Hallo-Wiener 

Narrator 2:   There once was a dog named Oscar who was half-a-dog tall and one-and-a-half dogs long.
 
Narrator 3:   Because of his unusual shape and size, all the other dogs made fun of him.
 
Dog 1 and 2: "Wiener Dog! Wiener Dog!" 
 
Narrator 4:   they called him.
 
Narrator 5:   And Oscar did not like it one bit.
 
Narrator 6:   Oscar's mother was no help either.
 
Narrator 1:   Every morning when the dogs walked off to obedience school, Oscaršs mother stood 
              in the front yard waving and calling out,
 
Mother:      "Farewell, my little Vienna sausage!"
 
Narrator 2:   And the other dogs laughed and laughed.
 
Narrator 3:   Most of the time, Oscar was upset by all this, but not today.
 
Narrator 4:   Today was Halloween, and Oscar was thinking about other things.  
 
Narrator 5:   All day long at obedience school, Oscar daydreamed about Halloween night, 
              trick-or-treats, and scary costumes.
 
Narrator 6:   When Oscar got home, he dashed upstairs to start working on his scary Halloween 
              costume.
 
Narrator 1:   But when he got to his room, a surprise was waiting for him.
 
Mother:      "Happy Halloween, my little sausage link,"
 
Narrator 2:   said Oscaršs mother.
 
Mother:      "I've made you a costume to wear for trick-or-treats!"
 
Narrator 3:   When Oscar saw the costume, he nearly fainted.
 
Narrator 4:   It was a giant hot-dog bun, complete with mustard. 
 
Narrator 5:   And guess who was supposed to fit in the middle?
 
Narrator 6:   Oscar did not want to hurt his mother's feelings, so he decided to wear the silly
              costume.
 
Narrator 1:   That night, all the dogs on the block gathered to show off their costumes.  
 
Narrator 2:   Everyone was looking quite scary.
 
Narrator 3:   Then Oscar showed up, looking quite frank.
 
Narrator 4:   When the dogs saw Oscar in his silly costume, they howled with laughter.
 
Dog 1 and 2: "Look at Oscar,"
 
Narrator 5:   they cried.
 
Dog 1:       "He really is a Wiener Dog!"
 
Narrator 6:   Poor Oscar was so embarrassed.
 
Dog 2 and 1: "Wiener Dog! Wiener Dog!"
 
Narrator 1:   laughed the other dogs as they ran off to go trick-or-treating. 
 
Narrator 2:   Oscar tried to keep up with the dogs, but his silly costume kept slowing him down.
 
Narrator 3:   All night long the other dogs hounded every treat they could get their paws on.
 
Narrator 4:   So by the time Oscar got to each house, there were no treats left.
 
Narrator 5:   Soon trick-or-treating was over, and the dogs walked home past a spooky graveyard.
 
Narrator 6:   Suddenly, a horrible hissing sound filled the air:
 
Cat 1 and 2: "Hsssssssssssssssssssss!"
 
Narrator 1:   The dogs stopped dead in their tracks.
 
Narrator 2:   Then, out of the graveyard rose a ghastly monster.
 
Narrator 3:   The dogs screamed for their lives!
 
Narrator 4:   They dropped their treats and jumped into a nearby pond!
 
Narrator 5:   The monster moved closer.
 
Dog 1 and 2: "Please don't eat us,"
 
Narrator 6:   cried the dogs.
 
Narrator 1:   The monster yowled and hissed.
 
Dog 1 and 2: "Boo-hoo-hoo!"
 
Narrator 2:   sobbed the dogs.
 
Narrator 3:   The monster jumped up and down.
 
Dog 1 and 2: "SOMEBODY SAVE US!"
 
Narrator 4:   shrieked the dogs.
 
Narrator 5:   Just then, somebody showed up. 
 
Narrator 6:   It was Oscar.
 
Narrator 1:   Because Oscar was so short, he saw something that the other dogs had not seen.
 
Oscar:       "That's no monster!"
 
Narrator 2:   cried Oscar.
 
Narrator 3:   And with a loud bark, Oscar waddled to the rescue!
 
Narrator 4:   Oscar chomped and tugged with all his might.
 
Narrator 5:   R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RIP!
 
Narrator 6:   And there, standing in the moonlight, were a couple of ornery cats.
 
Cat 1 and 2: "Help!"
 
Narrator 1:   cried the cats.
 
Cat 1 and 2: "We're being attacked by a giant frankfurter!"
 
Narrator 2:   And they ran off screaming through the graveyard.
 
Narrator 3:   The dogs in the pond had seen the whole thing, and now it was their turn to be
              embarrassed.

Dog 1 and 2: "We've been chased into a pond by a couple of cats!"
 
Narrator 4:   they moaned.
 
Narrator 5:   But Oscar was a true friend.
 
Narrator 6:   He leaped into the water and swam out to the dogs.
 
Narrator 1:   Oscar's silly costume made a wonderful life raft, and the dogs climbed up.
 
Oscar:       "All aboard!"
 
Narrator 2:   Oscar called, and he dog-paddled back to shore.
 
Narrator 3:   When they got back to dry land, all the dogs shared their Halloween treats with Oscar.
 
Narrator 4:   Because Oscar had been so brave, the dogs changed his nickname from "Wiener Dog" to
             "Hero Sandwich."
 
Narrator 5:   And from that night on, nobody ever made fun of Oscar again.

Narrator 6:   HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Scripted by Jill Jauquet