By Andrew Clements

Parts(7): Narrator 1    Narrator 2    Narrator 3    Lulu    Mrs. Bell    Mr. Thomas    Mrs. Carter       

Narrator 1:   DOUBLE TROUBLE IN WALLA WALLA By Andrew Clements

Narrator 2:   It was an ordinary Monday morning in Walla Walla‹until Lulu raised her hand in class.
Lulu:        "Mrs. Bell, I feel like a nit-wit. My homework is all higgledy-piggledy. Last night it
              was in tip-top shape, but now it's a big mish-mash." 
Narrator 3:   Mrs. Bell said, 
Mrs. Bell:   "Nit-wit? Higgledy-piggledy? Mish-mash? Lulu, stop that flip-flop  chitter-chatter or
              you'll be in double trouble!"
Narrator 1:   Lulu said, 
Lulu:        "But I'm not trying to flip-flop chit-chat. I just have an itty-bitty problem with my
Narrator 2:   Mrs. Bell scowled.  
Mrs. Bell:   "All right for you, Lulu. If you're going to shilly-shally and dilly-dally with all 
              this fancy-schmancy yak-yak, then we'll just have to trit-trot down to the
              principal's office."
Narrator 3:   Mrs. Bell hurried Lulu down the hall, and they burst into the principal's office.

Narrators 1, 2, 3: Hee-hee, Yak-yak, My-my, Blah-blah, Lookie-lookie, Shh-shh.  Come, come.
Narrator 1:   Mr. Thomas said, 
Mr. Thomas:  "What's all the hubbub about?"
Narrator 2:   Mrs. Bell said, 
Mrs. Bell:   "Lulu's been trying to razzle-dazzle me with some kind of lippity-loppity 
              jibber-jabber, and now I'm all helter-skelter myself.²
Narrator 3:   Mr. Thomas raised his eyebrows. 
Mr. Thomas:  "Tut-tut, sounds like silly-willy hocus-pocus to me."
Narrator 1:   Mrs. Bell's mouth dropped open. She pointed to the principal and said, 
Mrs. Bell:   "Eeeka-freaka!  Lulu's got your tongue all topsy-turvy too!"
Mr. Thomas:  "Now, now, don't get the jim-jams, Mrs. Bell. Let's give the nurse a yoo-hoo."
Narrator 2:   Mr. Thomas picked up his phone and said, 
Mr. Thomas:  "Mrs. Carter, I'm going to pitter-patter over to your office, okey-dokey?"
Narrator 3:   All three went across the hall to the nurse¹s office. Mr. Thomas said, 
Mr. Thomas:  "Howdy-doody, Mrs. Carter.  We're a little wacko-wacko. Lulu's got us talking this
              sing-song clap-trap like we're cuckoo!"
Narrator 1:   Mrs. Carter smiled at Lulu and said, 
Mrs. Carter: "Fiddle-faddle! Lulu and I are palsy-walsies.  She wouldn't try that kind of 
              phony-baloney, tutti-frutti flim-flam.²
Narrator 2:   Lulu and her teacher and the principal stared at the nurse.  Lulu said, 
Lulu:        "Wowie-zowie!"
Narrator 3:   Mrs. Bell said, 
Mrs. Bell:   "Jeepers-creepers!"
Narrator 1:   And Mr. Thomas said, 
Mr. Thomas:  "Holy-moly! You're in the same hodge-podge we are! I'd better give the superintendent
              a jingle-jangle‹chop chop!"

Mrs. Carter: "Wait one ding-dang tick-tock!" 
Narrator 2:   shouted the nurse.  
Mrs. Carter: "If you chit-chat with the big-wig, then he'll yak-yak like Lulu too! If we're not
              very, very hush-hush about this, there could be a mongo-mongo brain-drain, and
              everybody in Walla Walla will be talking like a herky-jerky ding-a-ling!" 
Narrator 3:   Then the nurse turned to Lulu.  
Mrs. Carter: "Lulu, let's get to the nitty-gritty: When did all this mumbo-jumbo start?"
Narrator 1:   Lulu gulped. She said, 
Lulu:        "In English class I had an itsy-bitsy problem with my homework, and then‹zip-zap‹
              Mrs. Bell said talking like this was a no-no."
Narrator 2:   The nurse looked over the top of her glasses at Lulu. 
Mrs. Carter: "Something like this would not just happen willy-nilly. Now Lulu, think extra, extra
              hard, and tell me what you did yesterday."
Lulu:        "Well," 
Narrator 3:   said Lulu, 
Lulu:        "it was really a humdrum day.  I was practicing ballet in my tutu, when my little
              brother Bobo asked me to play on the teeter-totter. We see-sawed until Bobo slipped
              off and got a boo-boo and started to boo-hoo.  Mama and Papa came running pell-mell,
              so I went inside and splish-splashed in the rub-a-dub tub, and then hip-hopped into
              my cuddly-wuddly beddy-beddy. I said night-night to Mama and Papa and Bobo, and fell
              asleep in a snip-snap. That's all I did.  Honest." 
Narrator 1:   Mrs. Carter said, 
Mrs. Carter: "Lulu, it seems to me that you've opened up a knock'em sock¹em wibble-wobble word 
              warp! I usually don't believe in this kind of hoodoo bunko-junko, but if it was 
              going to happen anywhere, it would probably happen right here in Walla Walla!" 
Narrator 2:   Mrs. Bell said, 
Mrs. Bell:   "Let's not quibble-quabble, Mrs. Carter.  I'm getting the heebie-jeebies from all 
              this razzmatazz! What can we do?"
Mrs. Carter: "We should say all the rootin'-tootin', crink'em-crank'em, woolly-bully words we
              can think of. Maybe that will clear the air and close the warp! Worth a try?"  
Narrator 3:   asked Nurse Carter. Mr. Thomas said, 
Mr. Thomas:  "Aye-aye!"
Narrator 1:   Mrs. Bell said, 
Mrs. Carter: "Let's do-si-do!"

Narrator 2:   And Lulu said, 
Lulu:        "Uh-huh!"
Narrator 3:   Nurse Carter closed the door to her office. Then she turned around and said, 
Mrs. Carter: "Lulu, let's get this harum-scarum show on the road!"
Narrator 1:   Lulu stood right up and blurted out, 
Lulu:        "Ticky-tacky, knick-knack, koochie-koochie-koo, hubba-hubba, rodger-dodger, 
Narrator 2:   Mrs. Carter cleared her throat and said, 
Mrs. Carter: "Hugger-mugger, hobnob, pit-patter, bon-bon!  Wishy-washy squish-squash handy-dandy
Narrator 3:   Mr. Thomas closed his eyes, and started slowly, but picked up speed. 
Mr. Thomas:  "Eentsy-beentsy choo-choo, teeny-tiny hurdy-gurdy, roly-poly rag-tag, hurly-burly
              riff-raff.  Rumble-tumble hip-hop, teenie-weenie pop-top, namby-pamby, hippy-dippy,
              hoity-toity hot-shot!"
Narrator 1:   And then Mrs. Bell stood up and took a deep breath. 
Mrs. Bell:   "Putt-putt, vroom-vroom, honk-honk, zoom-zoom, zig-zag, clank-clank, slam-bam, 
              fender-bender!  Ringy-dingy, cling-clang, ring-a-ding, boing-boing, ring-a-ling,
              zing-zing, bing-bang-boom!  Never-never wigwam, turkey-lurkey, tom-tom, 
              tootsie-wootsie, tittle-tattle, tee-hee-hee!" 
Narrator 2:   And then, without warning, words flooded the air! 
Narrator 3:   Fuzzy-wuzzy, fuddy-duddy, loosey-goosey, lovey-dovey, kissy-kissy, huggy-huggy,
              rink-a-dink-a-doo, Gaga, rah-rah, go-go, so-so!

Narrator 1:   Frou-frou, goo-goo, pooh-pooh, woo-woo!  Rinky-dinky arf-arf, argy-argy woof-woof,
              boogie-woogie, bow-wow, super-duper pooper-scooper! 
Narrator 2:   Clippity-cloppity, hippity-hoppity, clickety-clackety, rickety-rackety!
Narrator 3:   Blah-blah-blah, baa-baa-baa, ha-ha-ha! Clip-clop, drip-drop, click-clack, rick-rack!
Mrs. Carter: "Eager beaver, lucky ducky, comfy-domfy fat cat! Hee-haw, tweet-tweet, chirp-chirp,
              cheep-cheep, cluck-cluck, quack-quack, yuk-yuk-yuk!"
Mr. Thomas:  "Bozo! Yo-yo! Heyday!  Mayday! Hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, Goody-goody yum-yum 
              yummy-yummy tum-tum!  Gimmee-gimmee gobble-gobble, jelly-belly dum-dum!"
Lulu:        "Cling-clang, ying-yang, ching-chang, wing-ding! Pow-wow, kowtow!  Peg-weg"
Mrs. Bell:   "Voodoo boob-tube, muu-muu, pu-pu! Shoulda coulda woulda, betta hadda oughta!  
              Ship-shape sump-pump! Achey-breaky doodad!"
Lulu:        "Fie-fie, my my, rag-bag, tie-dye! Beep-beep, ho-ho, paw-paw, dodo!  Root-a-toot,
              zoot suit! Lookie-lookie, local-yokel!"
Mr. Thomas:  "Georgie Porgie, Hunca Munca, Henny Penny, Humpty Dumpty!"
Narrator 1:   And then, suddenly, silence.
Narrator 2:   Lulu, Mrs. Bell, and Mr. Thomas slumped into chairs, and Mrs. Carter flopped onto
              the cot against the wall.
Narrator 3:   Was it over?  No one dared to speak.  Lulu whispered, 
Lulu:        "Mrs. Carter, may I please have a drink of water?"

Narrator 1:   Mrs. Carter sat up and said, 
Mrs. Carter: "Of course you may, dear."
Narrator 2:   Mrs. Bell smiled weakly at the principal and said, 
Mrs. Bell:   "You were magnificent, sir."
Narrator 3:   Mr. Thomas perked up and smiled at everyone.  He straightened his tie and said, 
Mr. Thomas:  "I think we've done it, people!"
Narrator 1:   Mrs. Carter sat down at her desk and went back to checking over her posture records. 
Narrator 2:   Mr. Thomas walked across the hall to his office and went back to the letter he was 
Narrator 3:   Lulu followed Mrs. Bell down the hallway and soon had her English homework all
              straightened out.
Narrator 1:   And after English it was just another ordinary Monday in Walla Walla.
Lulu:        "Bye-bye, Mrs. Ding-Dong."
Mrs. Bell:   "Ta-ta, Lulu."
Scripted by Jill Jauquet