And the Dish Ran Away With The Spoon

By Janet and Susan Crummel

Parts (20):  Narrator 1     Narrator 2     Narrator 3     Narrator 4     Narrator 5     Narrator 6
             Narrator 7     Narrator 8     Narrator 9     Narrator 10    Cat            Cow
             Dog            Fork           Spider         Wolf           Dish           Spoon
             Jack           Little Boy Blue

Narrator 1: And the DISH Ran Away with the SPOON written by Janet Stevens and Susan Stevens Crummel

Narrator 2: Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon;

Narrator 3: The little dog laughed to see such sport, and the dish ran away with the spoon.

Cat:       "EVERYBODY UP! They didn't come back."

Narrator 1: Cow opened one eye.

Cow:       "What do you mean, they didn't come back? Dish and Spoon always come back."

Cat:       "Not this time!"

Narrator 2: said Cat.

Cat:       "Look, they're gone for good. History. Adios."

Dog:       "Leave 'em alone and they'll come home,"

Narrator 3: mumbled Dog.

Dog:       "Now leave me alone. Can't you see I'm dog-tired?"

Cow:       "You're tired?"

Narrator 1: said Cow.

Cow:       "Ever tried jumping over the moon?"

Dog:       "Well, whoop-dee-doo to you,"

Narrator 2: said Dog.

Dog:       "Why do we need Dish and Spoon anyway?"

Cat:       "We just do,"

Narrator 3: said Cat.

Cat:       "It's the way our rhyme goes. I fiddle, she jumps, you laugh, they run. Then they come
            back so we can do it again the next time! Without Dish and Spoon, there's no rhyme. No
            more diddle diddle. It's over."

Dog:       "Why don't we just change their part?"

Narrator 1: Dog growled.

Narrator 2: Cow yawned.
Cow:       "We could end it 'and the cow took a nap until noon.'"

Dog:       "Or maybe 'and the little dog bit a baboon,'"

Narrator 3: Dog smirked.

Cat:       "Stop fiddling around!"

Narrator 1: Cat demanded.

Cat:       "We don't have much time. You know our rhyme gets read every night, but it can't be 
            read without Dish and Spoon. We have to find them now!"

Narrator 2: Cow slowly got up.

Cow:       "Don't have a cow, Cat. I'm coming, I'm coming."

Dog:       "Doggone it,"

Narrator 3: muttered Dog.

Dog:       "I guess I'm coming too."

Narrator 1: So, off went the three with a hey diddle dee,

Narrator 2: by the light of the silvery moon,

Narrator 3: the cat with his fiddle, the cow, and the dog,

Narrator 1: to bring back the dish and the spoon.

Narrator 2: Soon they came to a fork in the road.

Cat:       "Excuse me, Fork, we're in a jam,"

Narrator 3: said Cat.

Cat:       "Dish and Spoon ran away, and our rhyme can't be read without them. Can you help us?"

Fork:      "Hmmmmmm."

Narrator 4: Fork thought for a moment.

Fork:      "Let's see. A couple of lost sheep wandered by...Four-and-twenty blackbirds flew over...
            Oh yes, I remember seeing a dish...with little flowers on it...and a long, skinny 
            spoon. In fact, they looked kind of familiar. I think we're from the same place 

Dog:       "Cut the blah, blah, blah, and get to the point,"

Narrator 5: said Dog.

Dog:       "Which way did they go?"

Narrator 6: Fork glared.

Fork:      "You sure are a grumpy little dog. They could have gone any direction: north, south, 
            east, west, northeast, northwest, westeast--------"

Cat:       "There's no westeast,"

Narrator 4: interrupted Cat.

Cat:       "I'm confused. Maybe you could draw us a map."

Fork:      "I'll take a stab at it,"

Narrator 5: said Fork.

Cat:       "Which way should we go?"

Narrator 6: asked Cat.

Cat:       "The Three Bears live one mile east and Little Boy Blue's haystack is one mile west."

Cow:       "Three Bears,"

Narrator 4: said Cow.

Cow:       "They say Mama Bear's bed is really soft."

Narrator 5: Fork looked worried.

Fork:      "I wouldn't go there. The Bears don't like strangers dropping by."
Cat:       "Then it's off to the haystack!"

Narrator 6: cried Cat.

Narrator 4: With the blow of a horn and the cow in the corn,

Narrator 5: the three headed off to the west ----

Narrator 6: the cranky ol' dog and the fiddlin' cat

Narrator 4: and the cow who just wanted to rest.

Cat:       "Here he is!"

Narrator 5: yelled Cat.

Cat:       "He's under this haystack, fast asleep."

Dog:       "Wake up, lazy little boy!"

Narrator 6: barked Dog.

Cow:       "Shhhh. He looks so peaceful,"

Narrator 4: whispered Cow.

Cow:       "I think I'll hit the hay, too."

Cat:       "There's no time for a nap!"

Narrator 5: warned Cat.

Cat:       "Search this haystack!"

Dog:       "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-choo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!"

Narrator 6: Dog sneezed.

Narrator 7: The haystack was gone.

Cow:       " Dish and Spoon in there."

Narrator 8: said Cow.

Narrator 9: Little Boy Blue rubbed his eyes.

Little Boy Blue: "Hey, where'd my haystack go?"

Cat:      "Sorry, Dog has hay fever,"

Narrator 7: Cat replied.

Cat:       "Were in a pickle. Dish and Spoon ran away, and our rhyme can't be read without them.
            Can you help us?"

Little Boy Blue: "That's nothing to sneeze at,"

Narrator 8: Little Boy Blue stretched.

Little Boy Blue: "But I've been asleep. I can't even find my cows and sheep. And where's that horn?"

Dog:       "We're barking up the wrong tree,"

Narrator 9: Dog grumbled.

Dog:       "Let's go north to Little Miss Muffet's."

Narrator 10: With a cur and a whey and a dickory day,

Narrator 7: they set out for Miss Muffet's place ----

Narrator 8: the cat with the fiddle, the cow who could jump,

Narrator 9: and the dog with a scowl on her face.

Narrator 10: A big, creepy spider sat on a tuffet.

Spider:    "May I help you?"

Cat:       "We're in a mess,"

Narrator 7: said Cat.

Cat:       "Dish and Spoon ran away----"

Spider:    "Yeah,"

Narrator 8: Spider interrupted.

Spider:    "I have the same problem with Muffet. I try to be nice, get to know her, even sit down
            beside her. Then pffft! Gone. Every time."

Cow:       "But Muffet always comes back, right?"

Narrator 9: said Cow.

Cow:       "This time Dish and Spoon didn't come back. Are they here?"

Spider:    "The only dishes here are the ones in the sink. Were your friends clean or dirty?"

Narrator 10: Spider asked.

Dog:       "They were clean when they left,"

Narrator 7: Dog said.

Dog:       "But who knows what they look like now."

Narrator 8: Cat rummaged through the sink.

Cat:       "I don't see them. Now what?"

Narrator 9: Spider grinned.

Spider:    "Why don't you try Wolf's house? It's about a mile east of here."

Cow:       "You mean the B-Big B-Bad Wolf?"

Narrator 10: said Cow.

Spider:    "He's not big and bad all the time,"

Narrator 7: said Spider.

Spider:    "Why, Wolf is very kind to strangers. I bet he's having some for lunch right now!"

Narrator 8: With a huff and a puff and a diddle dee duff,

Narrator 9: by the hair of their chinny chin chins,

Narrator 10: the cow and the dog and the cat traveled east

Narrator 7: to where the dark forest begins.

Dog:       "No bones about it,"

Narrator 8: whispered Dog.

Dog:       "It's dark in this neck of the woods."

Narrator 9: Cow stopped.

Cow:       "Why don't you two just go on ahead. I'll wait right here."

Cat:       "Don't be a chicken,"

Narrator 10: said Cat.

Cow:       "I'm not a chicken, I'm a cow!"

Cat:       "Then get a moooooooove on,"

Narrator 7: Cat ordered.

Narrator 8: They crept deeper and deeper into the forest.

Cat:       "Look,"

Narrator 9: whispered Cat.

Cat:       "There's Wolf's house.

Cow:       "I'm l-looking,"

Narrator 10: Cow stammered.

Cow:        "It looks pretty big and bad to me."

Narrator 7: Dog marched ahead.

Dog:       "Come on, I bet his bark is worse than his bite."

Narrator 8: Wolf opened the door.

Wolf:      "Hello, my little morsels. Come in and join me for lunch."

Cat:       "We're in a predicament,"

Narrator 9: said Cat bravely.

Cat:       "Dish and Spoon ran away and our rhyme can't be read without them. Can you help us?"

Wolf:      "Of course I can,"

Narrator 10: Wolf licked his chops.

Wolf:      "But you three look so tired. I have a nice tub of hot water bubbling over the fire.
            First I can rub-a-dub-dub you down with a little seasoning. Uh, I mean bath oil."

Narrator 7: Then Dog spotted it on the floor------a tiny chip of flowered china.

Dog:       "Our friends! What have you done with our friends?"

Narrator 8: Wolf grabbed her.

Wolf:      "Come on, you dirty dog, it's time to get in the tub. I'm just in the mood for a tasty
            dog treat."

Dog:       "I'm not tasty,"

Narrator 9: pleaded Dog.

Dog:       "I'm grumpy and tough!"

Narrator 10: Wolf held Dog over the pot of boiling water.

Wolf:      "Then you'll taste just like my mama's cooking!"

Narrator 7: Cow screamed,

Cow:       "Let that little dog go!"

Wolf:      "But of course I'll let her go----right into the pot! Ha------ha------ha!"

Narrator 8: Wolf laughed.

Narrator 9: Just then Cat had an idea. He put his fiddle under his chin and began to play a soft
            and tender lullaby.

Narrator 10: Wolf stopped. He turned his head.

Wolf:      "My mama...My mama...She used to sing that song to me every night before I went to 

Narrator 7: Wolf cradled Dog in his arms and crooned.

Wolf:      "Rock-a-bye, Wolfie, in your big bed...."

Narrator 8: Wolf lay down on the floor. His big eyes closed and his big ears flopped. The Big
            Bad Wolf was fast asleep.

Narrator 9: Dog wriggled free. They all tiptoed past Wolf, then bolted out the door and down
            the path.

Cow:       "Whew! That was a close shave."

Dog:       "We're not out of the woods yet."

Narrator 10: Suddenly a voice boomed in the distance. "Fee, fi, fo, fish, I smell the blood of a
             spoon and a dish!" Cat, Dog, and Cow froze.

Cow:       "The voice is coming from the east."

Dog:       "It sounds like the giant! Dish and Spoon must be at the beanstalk."

Narrator 7: Cat grabbed the map from the Cow.

Cat:       "Oh, no, the beanstalk! Look how far away it is!"

Cow:       "I can help. Hop on. I'll get us there in a flash."

Narrator 7: With a fee and a fum and a twiddle dee dum,

Narrator 8: the cow jumped high in the air.

Narrator 9: Over the forest and meadows they flew,

Narrator 10: and lickety-split---they were there!

Narrator 7: Cow, Cat, and Dog landed at the foot of the beanstalk.

Dish and Spoon: "Hel-l-l-l-l-l-p!"

Narrator 8: came a cry from above.

Dish and Spoon: "We're falling down...falling down...falling dowwwnnnn--------"

Narrator 9: Crash! Boing! At last they had found Dish and Spoon.

Narrator 10: Cat rushed over.

Cat:       "Spoon! Spoon! Are you alright?"

Spoon:    "I-----I think so, but-----but------where's Dish?"

Cow:      "She's over here."
Dog:      "And she's over here."

Cat:      "And she's over here, too."

Spoon:    "Oh no! She's everywhere!"

Narrator 8: As they picked up the broken pieces, Spoon sobbed.

Spoon:     "Wolf chased us up the beanstalk, then Giant chased us down the beanstalk and we 
            slipped. We didn't mean to run away. Each time our rhyme was read, we went a little
            farther...and a little farther. This time we went too far and got lost. It was scary."

Cow:       "Look---Dish is trying to say something. Quick. Put her mouth pieces together!"

Dish:      "I want to go home," (Dish whispers)

Narrator 9: With Dish in a sack, they all headed back,

Narrator 10: and hardly a sentence was spoken.

Narrator 8: The cat, the dog, the cow, and the spoon-------

Narrator 9: their friend and their hearts were broken.

Cat:       "Now what are we going to do?"

Narrator 10: Cat moaned as they headed south toward home.

Cat:       "This is really the end. The final curtain. Dish is nothing but a pile of chips. Our
            rhyme is over forever!"

Narrator 8: Dog stopped in her tracks.

Dog:       "Look, Humpty's wall. He falls apart every day. Somebody has to put him back together.
            Let's go find out who!"

Narrator 9: They raced toward the wall. Dog spotted a sign on a nearby tree. It read: JACK'S 
            REPAIR SHOP "You blew it, I glue it."

Narrator 10: Inside Jack's shop, the floor was covered with eggshells, broken beds and chairs, 
             snipped-off noses, and sticks and straw.

Jack:       "What's the problem?"

Narrator 8: asked Jack, gluing a tail on a mouse.

Cat:       "Dish went to pieces. Our rhyme has fallen apart. Can you help us?"

Jack:      "I am a jack-of-all-trades, and I'm nimble and quick, too! But this looks bad, really
            bad. I'll see what I can do."

Narrator 9: They paced up and down with a fiddle dee frown-----

Narrator 10: Spoon, Little Dog, Cat, and Cow.

Narrator 8: All the king's horses and all the king's men...couldn't help anyone now!

Narrator 9: At last Jack returned-----and Dish was right behind him.

Jack:      "It was tough, but I stuck with it. See, Dish is as good as new. Well, except for the 
            missing piece."

Dog:       "You mean this piece?"

Dish:      "You found it! It chipped off when I was running from Wolf. I crashed into that big pot!"

Narrator 10: Jack glued the chip in place. And everyone cheered as they rushed outside.

Dog, Cat, Cow, Spoon (together): "Hooray! Dish is back together and so are we!"

Dish:      "I'm a full plate, thanks to you!"

Dog:        When the chips are down, you can count on me. Hey guys, did you hear that? I cracked 
            a joke!"

Narrator 8: Dish began to laugh-----then Spoon-----then Cow----then Cat. And then Dog threw her
            head back and laughed louder than anyone else.

Cow: "Who would've believed it? Dog really laughed!"

Dog: "And Cat played the fiddle and saved us from Wolf,"

Cat: "And Cow got us to the beanstalk by jumping higher than ever!"

Cow: "Speaking of jumping, we'd better go----it's almost time!"

Narrator 9: And in the winkin' blinkin' of an eye, they were back home.

Cat: "Quick! Places, everyone!"

Narrator 10: Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
             The cow jumped over the moon:
             The little dog laughed to see such sport,
             And the dish stayed at home with the spoon.

Scripted by Donna Hopkins, Rialto, CA