By Mike Thaler

Parts(15):  Narrator 1    Narrator 2    Narrator 3    Narrator 4    Narrator 5    Narrator 6
            Cinderella    Elsie         Wheny         Whiny         Moe           Prince Smeldred 
            King          Queen         Mom       

Narrator 1:   CINDERELLA BIGFOOT By Mike Thaler

Narrator 1:   Now, there were a lot of funny-looking people in the Land of Make Believe, but
              Cinderella was the funniest.
Narrator 2:   Her most outstanding feature was her big feet. When she stood up, she looked like
              a seaplane.
Narrator 3:   Cinderella lived with her beautiful stepmother and three beautiful stepsisters, 
              Weeny, Whiny, and Moe.  She had a beautiful stepcat, a stepdog, and a stepladder. 
Narrator 4:   The size of Cinderella's feet caused her many problems.  She bounced off the ceiling
              in ballet class, she always lost at hopscotch, and she had to buy a sock for every
Narrator 5:   However, the worst problem for everyone else was that when Cinderella's bunions
              bothered her, she'd take off her shoes and leave them around town.
Narrator 6:   The giant, smelly shoes would block doorways, stop traffic, and take up four parking
              spaces at the mall.
Narrator 1:   So, when the King and Queen of the Land of Make Believe gave a dance party, they 
              naturally didn't invite Cinderella. 
King:        "What about Cinderella?" 
Narrator 2:   asked the King. 
Queen:       "No, it just wouldn't be safe," 
Narrator 3:   replied the Queen.
Narrator 4:   As soon as they were gone, Cinderella put her feet up and turned on her favorite 
              TV show, Lifestyles of the Royal and Famous.
Narrator 5:   Suddenly a cow wearing a blond wig and a pink tutu appeared on top of the TV. 
Cinderella:  "Would you please move your tail?  You're blocking the screen,"
Narrator 6:   said Cinderella.
Elsie:       "I'm Elsie, your Dairy Godmother, and I'm here to send you to the ball."
Cinderella:  "I wasn't invited," 
Narrator 1:   said Cinderella.
Narrator 2:   The cow waved her golden wand.  Just then, an invitation dropped through the mail
Cinderella:  "I don't have a thing to wear," 
Narrator 3:   whined Cinderella.
Narrator 4:   Elsie waved her golden wand again.  Cinderella was suddenly wearing a glamorous,
              glittering gown. 
Cinderella:  "I can't find my other sneaker," 
Narrator 5:   sniveled Cinderella.
Narrator 6:   The cow twirled her wand.  On Cinderella's feet sparked two glass sneakers. 
Cinderella:  "I don't have a carriage," 
Narrator 1:   moaned Cinderella.
Elsie:       "Take the bus," 
Narrator 2:   said her Dairy Godmother, handing Cinderella some change.
Cinderella:  "Thank you, Dairy Godmother," 
Narrator 3:   said Cinderella. She turned to leave. 
Elsie:       "One more thing," 
Narrator 4:   said the cow.
Elsie:       "You have to be back before the clock strikes twelve,"
Cinderella:  "Sure, sure. Bye,"
Narrator 5:   said Cinderella.
Narrator 6:   When Cinderella arrived at the ball, everyone pointed and said,
Narrators 1 and 2: "Who's that funny-looking girl?" 
Narrator 3:   Prince Smeldred, who was quite funny-looking himself, raised his head from the
              punch bowl and sputtered, 
Prince:      "Who's the doll!  Wanna dance?" 
Cinderella:  "Let's trip the light fantastic, big boy," 
Narrator 4:   said Cinderella, twirling. 
Prince:      "Ouch! You stepped on my foot!" 
Narrator 5:   said Smeldred.
Narrator 6:   The two began to dance. 
Prince:      "Ouch!  Ouch! Ouch!  Maybe we'd better sit this one out," 
Narrator 1:   howled Smeldred, hopping up and down. 
Narrator 2:   Just then the clock struck twelve. (Time goes fast when you're having a ball.)
Cinderella:  "I have to go," 
Narrator 3:   shrieked Cinderella.
Prince:      "But who are you?" 
Narrator 4:   cried Smeldred, rubbing his feet. 
Cinderella:  "I'm late!" 
Narrator 5:   she replied.
Prince:      "That's a funny name," 
Narrator 6:   said Smeldred, who wasn't too swift. 
Prince:      "What's your address? What's your phone number?  What's your sign?"
Narrator 1:   But Cinderella was gone. 
Narrator 2:   She'd left behind one glass sneaker- size 87, triple A- that blocked the doorway, so
              everyone had to leave through the back door.
Prince Smeldred: "I'm going to find that girl," 
Narrator 3:   vowed Smeldred.
Narrator 4:   Using a "toe" truck, he hauled the sneaker to every maiden in the kingdom.
Narrator 5:   Each girl would put in one foot, then two feet, then both hands.
Narrator 6:   Finally, Smeldred arrived at Cinderella's house.  Weeny sat in the sneaker.
Weeny:       "It fits!" 
Narrator 1:   she shrieked.
Prince:      "Next," 
Narrator 2:  said Smeldred.
Narrator 3:   Then Whiny and Moe stood in the sneaker together.
Whiny and Moe: "It fits!" 
Narrator 4:   they shouted.
Prince:      "Next!" 
Narrator 5:   sighed Smeldred, feeling a little discouraged.
Narrator 6:   Just then, Cinderella lumbered into the room.
Cinderella:  "Oh, there's my other sneaker!" 
Narrator 1:   she cried, and slipped it on.  Everyone stared at Cinderella's foot.
Wheeny, Whiny and Moe: "It fits!" 
Narrator 2:   they gasped.
Prince Smeldred: "Will you marry me?" 
Narrator 3:   said Smeldred, throwing himself at her feet.
Cinderella:  "Only if you'll marry me," 
Narrator 4:   replied Cinderella.
Narrator 5:  The Prince grabbed a doughnut and put it on her finger. Then they rushed out the door
             to live happily ever after. 
Wheeny, Whiny and Moe: "Well, at least the Prince will be our stepbrother-in-law," 
Narrator 6:   cried Weeny, Whiny, and Moe. 
Mom:         "Yeah, but it's going to be hard to fill Cinderella's shoes," 
Narrator 6:   sighed their mom.
Narrator 1:   Just then, Elsie appeared on top of the refrigerator.
Elsie:       "The shoe must go on," 
Narrator 2:   she uttered with a wink, and poured them each a glass of milk.
Scripted by Jill Jauquet