"Just-So" Speeches

Richard Swallow

 
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
    For this fun "speech"  exercise, a student is given a funny/ridiculous topic about which he or
she must speak for 30 seconds continuously with no pauses.  The student is given the topic by the
teacher followed immediately for a timed 15 seconds to prepare themselves mentally and/or jot a
few notes on paper. At the end of the 15 seconds the teachers says "Go!" and the student must 
begin speaking at once about their topic.
    For some students this will be very difficult for a number of reasons. You know your students
best and can make some dispensation when deemed necessary. For a student to simply opt out of 
the exercise, however, should NOT be an option. Students should understand that if they are not
successful they will be given another topic at a "random" time later on in the presentations.

Rules: (read to participants)

1. You must stand up to do your presentation.

1. You may have no longer than 15 seconds preparation time to think about your topic and/or jot
   down a few notes and must then begin speaking immediately when I (the teacher) say, "GO!"

3. You may interpret your topic in any way you choose, that is, "square watermelon seeds"
   could be talked about as being still inside the watermelon, their special function in farming,
   as used to grow crops on the moon, as cheap slingshot ammunition...any or all of these plus
   an infinite number of other ways limited only by your imagination, as long as you continue
   talking continuously for 30 seconds.

3. The presentation need not make any sense whatsoever and can be presented as serious, humorous,
  "scientific," or any way you desire. Your presentation may be as creative/imaginative/ridiculous
   as you deem necessary to continue speaking uninterrupted for the 30 seconds saying virtually
   anything as long as your words "relate" to your topic. 

4. Remember, the MAIN idea of this exercise is to speak for 30 seconds without pausing for 
   more than 3 seconds at any time for the duration of the exercise.
Teacher notes
   A. Hold up one, two, then 3 fingers as method to indicate to speaker that unacceptable "dead" 
      time is occurring.

   B. If this is a first-time speech, standing in front of the class may be too much for
      some students so simply standing by their seats will likely be a better option and make
      them more comfortable, increasing their likelihood for success.

   C. Advise students to speak slowly

Some example speeches which you may opt to read to the students is presented at this link.
Sample topics
(Make up some of your own to supplement this list.)
Make no attempt to explain the meaning of the topic to the student.

lopsided golf balls             paper battleships
fortune cookies                 electric bumblebees
cracks in the sidewalk          blue milk
cherry pits                     cement pillows
dust under your bed             one-armed sweaters
chicken lips                    banana peels
belly button lint               one-wheeled cars
dust bunnies                    plastic birds
square toothpicks               invisible ink
dry water                       why dirt was invented
chocolate flavored liver        rubber doughnuts
spinach ice cream               skin
underground telephone poles     holes in a rowboat bottom
square footballs                why mosquitoes were discovered
bottomless wastebaskets         the sound of a carrot
uses for dandruff               why there is air
blue light bulbs                why bruises were invented
motorized toothbrushes          why an elephant has a long nose
why zebras have stripes         what alligators are for
short grass                     cat whiskers
fireproof underwear             sky hooks